As we all know falling in love is the easiest part of a relationship or any relationship for that matter. The hardest part of any relationship is commitment and keeping the relationship going. Experts claim that passionate love only last 2 to 4 years, which can create problems for any relationship, and that mutual respect and compatibility then become increasingly important. However, if you are gay (homosexual) you understand that keeping a relationship health is hard work.
Most gay relationships today never last past 5 years according to Psychologist Jess Bering. He states “that for most gay relationship it is at this point that either one or both partners will “fall out of love” or “disinterested”. It is important to understand that in the animal kingdom the primary goal of most male species is to reproduce. Humans are no different, but for some couples a legal marriage prevents most from going outside of their relationship (we know this is not always the case), and only because there are legal consequences.
"Heartbreak is every bit as much a psychological adaptation as is the compulsion to have sex with those other than our partners, and it throws a monster of a monkey wrench into the evolutionists' otherwise practical polyamory." Psychologist Jesse Bering
Mutual respect and compatibly then becomes increasingly important as the relationship progresses. Here are a few tips that might help gay couples to remain committed to your partner.
Communicate - This is key for a long lasting relationship. Never allow small frictions in your relationship to be blown out of proportion. Be open and honest with your partner about what you are thinking and feeling, big or small. If you are bothered by something then speak up and discuss the issue together and remember once resolved it is over. Don't go back and rehash or live a problem.
Spend quality time together - the demands of life and work will always affect your relationship. It is equally important to establish time together or "Us" time. Together you should both block our time on your calendar and schedule other commitments around that date.
Experiment with sex - No matter what you do avoid at all cost "gay/lesbian bed death." Sexual passion and activity diminished in long term homosexual relationships, it's going happen. It does take some effort to spice up your sex life. Both of you should consider exploring activities you've never done before. Don't ever exceed your partner's boundaries, there should be a frank, open and honest discussion about each other limits, and there should always be respect. For example, try doing some role play, this will allow each other to explore another side of sex without feeling pressure.
Keeping a relationship fresh - This can be some work, but in the long run it is well worth it. Try introducing elements of surprise or anything fresh in your relationship; this will help you remain committed to your partner. Sending flowers without an occasion or an extraordinary active will help keep a relationship vibrant and interesting.
Avoid Jealousy - Unfortunately jealousy in all too common in the gay community. Without a doubt it will destroy any relationship. Jealousy mostly occurs when either one or both don't trust each other. We you have to start checking email, social media, call or texting all of the time, knowing where each other is at all times; there is no trust, and without trust there is no relationship (healthy at least). If you feel controlled by your partner you should confront and have a discussion, express how your feeling and resolve any issues.
Compromise - It is easy to always feel that you're right. To have a good relationship you need to always keep an open mind about any situation. This involves keeping your relationship on a even ground and establishes balance.
Just always know what you get out of any relationship is what you put into it. This is two people working together for a common goal, to be happy, healthy, understanding each other, accepting their faults, never expecting them to live up to you expectations, and above all trust.
Source: Ryan, Christopher, and Cacilda Jetha. Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality. N.p.: Haper Collins, 2010. Print.
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