#SOCIAL NOBODY SERIES Roughly, every second person has experienced bullying at some point in their life, and over 83% of young people admit that these events affected their self-esteem. College time is not an exception. Like any violence, bullying leaves scars, be they physical, emotional, or both. This problem is very difficult to deal with, especially when you are a victim.
However, ‘difficult’ doesn’t mean ‘impossible’, so you can break out of this situation if you take appropriate action.
Understand Bullying and What Drives It
One can say that humans are violent creatures by nature or that they learn to be this way from the examples they see in early childhood. There is a violent cycle in our society where bullies are practically ‘made’ by either adopting this behavior from witnessing it at home or reversing to it as a coping mechanism. It’s quite surprising, but many of the current bullies have been victimized and started act this way as a way of coping.
As a victim in a bullying situation, you need to understand the reasons that push your abusers because this is necessary for you to see the most important truth.
The truth is that you are NOT the problem. It is NOT your fault.
The majority of victims remain this way simply because they don’t have the courage to speak up and do something about their situation. It usually occurs because one of the basic bullying tactics is to hit one’s self-esteem and make them believe that they are at fault and deserve to be abused.
It isn’t the truth, and the first thing you must do to deal with bullies is to understand that they have no power over you. The second best thing to do is to seek legal advice. Having a legal counsel to protect your rights would be imperative in this case, especially if the bullying has resulted in physical injuries.
Deal with Bullying in College: Tactics for Any SituationAlthough all bullies follow a similar pattern (which is intimidation and humiliation of someone weaker to get an ego boost out of the deal), no two cases are the same. Therefore, you might need to implement different methods depending on the situation.
Ignore the bullyBullies get the enjoyment from the reaction they incur from their victims, and in most cases, they aren’t prepared to elevate the level of violence in their approach. It means that NOT giving a reaction makes you ‘unappealing’ and might be enough to make the abuser go away on their own.
You can augment this tactic by responding in a firm and calm manner. Simply saying ‘Stop’ or ‘Leave me alone’ should suffice. Just don’t get agitated as getting the rise out of you is exactly what the bully wants.
Get help from an adultEven when you are an independent and self-sufficient college student, getting help from an adult in a bullying situation is the right thing to do. First of all, this is a very serious matter and your reporting the abuse might help other people who are forced into a similar situation.
Second, adult authority figures (professors, counselors, supervisors, etc.) may have the means to deal with the bully more efficiently. Depending on the circumstances, they may offer advice or take some practical steps, such as expelling the bully or meting out appropriate punishment.
Stand up for yourselfNote that this doesn’t mean answering violence with violence. What you need to do is to show the bully that you aren’t a victim. You can do this by standing tall and proud, showing the abuser that their words don’t matter.
You are an amazing person, and you mustn’t put yourself down. So, just tell the bully that they are wrong about you and walk away back to your friends. If you don’t have any, now would be a great time to join some group that shares your interests and would provide you with support (and watch your back) in case you encounter a bully.
Written By: David Gutierrez. Stanford Univeristy. 09 March, 2017.
#SOCIAL NOBODY SERIES A safe and supportive school climate can help prevent bullying. Safety starts in the classroom. Students should also feel and be safe everywhere on campus—in the cafeteria, in the library, in the rest rooms, on the bus, and on the playground. Everyone at school can work together to create a climate where bullying is not acceptable.
These meetings work best in classrooms where a culture of respect is already established. Classroom meetings are typically short and held on a regular schedule. They can be held in a student’s main classroom, home room, or advisory period.
United States Department of Health and Human Services. stopbullying.gov
Nine-year-old Jamel Myles took his own life this past Thursday after being bullied at school. His mother believes that he was bullied for being gay.
Leia Piece told Fox 21 Denver that she found her son dead at their home, only four days after he started Joe Shoemaker Elementary School, he was a fourth grader.
While on summer break, Jamel came out to his mother while driving. “I thought he was playing. “So I looked back because I was driving and he was all curled up, so scared. And I said, ‘I still love you,’” she stated.
Pierce said her son wanted to dress less masculine. ”Can I be honest with you?’,” she remembered. “And I was like ‘Sure’, and he’s like, ‘I know you buy me boy stuff because I’m a boy, but I’d rather dress like a girl.'”
She also explained that her son was eager to tell his new classmates because he was proud of who he was, however, it appears that his openness had some tragic consequences.
“Four days is all it took at school. I could just imagine what they said to him,” recalled Pierce. “My son told my oldest daughter the kids at school told him to kill himself. I’m just sad he didn’t come to me.”
The Denver Police are currently investigating the death as a suicide, and the Denver Public School district sent out a letter informing parents of extra social workers and crisis teams at all schools.
Pierce wants to spread awareness about bullying and the harm it can do to individuals. “We should have accountability for bullying. I think the child should. Because the child knows it’s wrong. The child wouldn’t want someone to do it to them. I think the parent should be held because obviously the parents are either teaching them to be like that, or they’re treating them like that,” she urged.
Currently, there are 50 states that have some sort of anti-bullying laws. But it has been reported that most of the laws are notoriously difficult to implement at ground level and just as impossible to ensure that all school districts follow through or adhere to the policies.
The National Center for Educational Statistics in 2016 reported that one out of every five students report being bullied, down by 8% since the organization began collecting data in 2005.
Of the students bullied, data reveals that 13% were victims of verbal abuse, 12% were the basis of rumors, 5% felt excluded on a regular basis and 5% endured physical abuse.
The data shows that the most frequent forms of bullying are based on ethnicity, disability, appearance, sexual orientation, gender, and religion.
For the school, the costs of bullying are countless hours consumed in tackling a problem that is resistant to change, truancies, reduced student retention, low teacher morale, negative perceptions of the school by the wider community and parent hostility. The school campus becomes a place where many kids are marginalized and where no-one feels safe. As students become alienated from school, academic performance declines. Schools are increasingly sued for failing to provide a safe learning environment and are being held liable for the harassment, violence and suicides caused by bullying.
Schools are a primary place where bullying can happen. Helping to establish a supportive and safe school climate where all students are accepted and knowing how to respond when bullying happens are key to making sure all students are able to learn and grow. There are many tools on StopBullying.gov specific for teachers, administrators, and other school staff.
10 CAUSES OF BULLYING:
SOCIAL NOBODY SERIES
You won't believe what happens to the bully in this video! This short film tells the story of Angela, an elderly woman who is bullied by a group of teenagers at a bus stop. She crosses paths again with, Carter, one of the bullies. Their confrontation leads to an unexpected outcome.
Inspired by the true bullying story of Karen Klein.
Caption Author: Oreodragon61
r/h Pacer's National Bullying Prevention Center
SOCIAL NOBODY SERIES
Lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender (LGBT) youth and those perceived as LGBT are at an increased risk of being bullied. There are important and unique considerations for strategies to prevent and address bullying of LGBT youth.
Creating a Safe Environment for LGBT Youth
It is important to build a safe environment for all youth, whether they are straight or LGBT. All youth can thrive when they feel supported. Parents, schools, and communities can all play a role in helping LGBT youth feel physically and emotionally safe:
Federal civil rights laws do not cover harassment based on sexual orientation. Often, bullying towards LGBT youth targets their non-conformity to gender norms. This may be sexual harassment covered under Title IX. Read more about federal civil rights laws.
Many states protect against bullying because of sexual orientation in their state laws.
Content last reviewed on September 24, 2017
SOCIAL NOBODY SERIES
Children and adolescents who lack social problem-solving skills are more at risk of becoming bullies, victims or both than those who don’t have these difficulties, says new research published by the American Psychological Association. But those who are also having academic troubles are even likelier to become bullies.
“This is the first time we’ve overviewed the research to see what individual and environmental characteristics predict the likelihood of becoming a bully, victim or both,” said lead author Clayton R. Cook, PhD, of Louisiana State University. “These groups share certain characteristics, but they also have unique traits. We hope this knowledge will help us better understand the conditions under which bullying occurs and the consequences it may have for individuals and the other people in the same settings. Ultimately, we want to develop better prevention and intervention strategies to stop the cycle before it begins.”
Cook and co-authors from the University of California at Riverside examined 153 studies from the last 30 years. They found that boys bully more than girls, and bullies and victims both have poor social problem-solving skills. More than anything else, poor academic performance predicts those who will bully.
“A typical bully has trouble resolving problems with others and also has trouble academically,” said Cook. “He or she usually has negative attitudes and beliefs about others, feels negatively toward himself/herself, comes from a family environment characterized by conflict and poor parenting, perceives school as negative and is negatively influenced by peers.”
“A typical victim is likely to be aggressive, lack social skills, think negative thoughts, experience difficulties in solving social problems, come from negative family, school and community environments and be noticeably rejected and isolated by peers,” said Cook.
The typical bully-victim (someone who bullies and is bullied) also has negative attitudes and beliefs about himself or herself and others, the study found. He or she has trouble with social interaction, does not have good social problem-solving skills, performs poorly academically and is not only rejected and isolated by peers but is also negatively influenced by the peers with whom he or she interacts, according to the study.
Sample sizes for the studies examined ranged from 44 to 26,430. Ages ranged from 3 to 18 years old. The participants were from the United States and Europe. Researchers used self-, peer, teacher and parent reports to measure the extent of bullying, aggression and victimization; externalizing behavior (defiant, aggressive or disruptive responses); internalizing behaviors (withdrawal, depression, anxious and avoidant responses); social competence; beliefs, feelings and thoughts; academic performance; family and home environment; school environment; community life; peer status and influence.
The authors found that age played a role in how much bullies and victims acted out their aggressions or internalized their feelings. Younger bullies were more defiant, aggressive and disruptive, whereas older bullies were more withdrawn, depressed and anxious. Younger bullies were not as bothered by rejection and being unpopular as were older bullies. And older victims suffered from depression and anxiousness more than younger victims.
According to the authors, most programs use strategies to prevent bullying that favor removing the bully from the environment, such as enforced anti-bullying rules and peer-reporting of bullying incidents in schools. The more promising interventions target the behaviors and the environments that are putting these young people at risk of becoming bullies and/or victims.
“Intervene with the parents, peers and schools simultaneously,” said Cook. “Behavioral parent training could be used in the home while building good peer relationship and problem-solving skills could be offered in the schools, along with academic help for those having troubling in this area.”
Article: “Predictors of Bullying and Victimization in Childhood and Adolescence: A Meta-analytic Investigation,” Clayton R. Cook, PhD, Louisiana State University; Kirk R. William, PhD, Nancy G. Guerra, EdD, Tia E. Kim, PhD, and Shelly Sadek, MA, University of California, Riverside; School Psychology Quarterly, Vol. 25, No.2.
Contact Dr. Clayton R. Cook by email.
Contact Dr. Nancy G. Guerra by email or by phone at (951) 827-6421 (work) or (949) 463-4659 (cell).
The American Psychological Association, in Washington, D.C., is the largest scientific and professional organization representing psychology in the United States and is the world's largest association of psychologists. APA's membership includes more than 152,000 researchers, educators, clinicians, consultants and students. Through its divisions in 54 subfields of psychology and affiliations with 60 state, territorial and Canadian provincial associations, APA works to advance psychology as a science, as a profession and as a means of promoting health, education and human welfare.
R/T American Psychological Association
Social Media Apps and Sites Commonly Used by Children and Teens
Digital media and apps allow children to communicate and express their creativity, connect with peers, and share their feelings. However, they can be an avenue through which cyberbullying occurs. There are many types of apps and sites available for free that give users the ability to search for people and share or post information about them anonymously.
Parents may not be aware of the apps that their children use regularly or may not be aware of the risks involved in using them. There are many ways that cyberbullying can be hidden in apps and sites, such as texts, videos, and web calls that disappear or do not appear on the device’s call or text message logs.
Many apps also make it easy for users to access, view or participate in adult or harmful content. Privacy and location settings may make them more vulnerable to stalking, cyberbullying, exposure to adult content, or other dangers.
Some current popular social media venues and apps include:
Cyberbullying and Online Gaming
Playing videogames is a popular activity, with 72 percent of teens gaming online. Many video games – whether they are console, web, or computer-based – allow users to play with friends they know in person and others they have met only online. While gaming can have positive benefits like making new friends, socializing, and learning how to strategize and problem solve, it is also another place where cyberbullying occurs.
Anonymity of players and the use of avatars allow users to create alter-egos or fictional versions of themselves, which is part of the fun of gaming. But it also allows users to harass, bully, and sometimes gang up on other players, sending or posting negative or hurtful messages and using the game as a tool of harassment. If someone is not performing well, other children may curse or make negative remarks that turn into bullying, or they might exclude the person from playing together.
Because players are anonymous, they cannot necessarily be held accountable for their behavior, and their harassment can cause some players to leave games. Some anonymous users use the game as a means to harass strangers or to get their personal information, like user names and passwords.
There are things adults can do to prevent cyberbullying of children who are gaming:
Bullying has to start somewhere, it does not mysteriously just appear, especially in children.
Experiences with family, media and other children prepare children more likely to engage in the bullying-related behavior. This usually starts in a child’s early development.
Children will learn more from their family behavior as they observe family violence, physical punishment or physical or verbal aggression to control them or others. This may lead to aggressive behaviors and thus become involved in bullying at an early age. As children who grow up in more caring families, they tend to learn more positive social skills and tend to less likely to initiate bullying. However, you have to take into account peer pressure, at time children who wouldn’t normally engage in bullying, might do so to if pressure from school peers.
Media can play a role in the development of bullying. They may learn these behaviors by watching movies or television that celebrate violence towards others. It has also been suggested that children who play violent video games that display violent behavior tend to learn anti-social behaviors and may contribute to bullying towards others. Media that is educational material might enable children to interact with their peers in a positive manner.
But it is direct experiences with other children and siblings that can influence how they will interact with others. Those who experience bullying by either siblings or other children tend to turn their aggression on others to relevant their own bullying. This originates in the early childhood setting as they observe or interact with other children who are engaged in bullying-related behaviors.
Children ages 2-4 might use aggressive or bullying to defend their possessions, territory, and friendships, whereas, children ages 4-6 use bullying to threaten or intimidate other children. Bullying behaviors develop systematically depending on the response of the target. If allowed to continue, this may lead to full-blown bullying – For example, if a child cries, and yields to someone who is bullying, the bullying then tends to select and target that same child over and over, and the behavior will continue.
This becomes a problem when other children observe the behavior thus joining in – dominating the same victim and using the same tactics may lead to other children to seek out and dominate victims of their own. If allowed to continue over a substantial amount of time power hierarchies could form allowing dominant children to bully others who in turn give into their demands by yielding or crying. It’s important to understand that as the bullying continues it can take on a more sophisticated and various forms.
Bullying occurs in both girls and boy and they all engage in a variety of bullying-related behaviors. The difference is that boys and girls show differences in aggression. Boys tend to engage in physical and verbal bullying, displaying power and dominance. This type of behavior requires direct intervention and are easy to detect and observe. Whereas girls who bully are more sophisticated, and indirectly associated with patterns of affiliation and exclusion.
Parents and educator’s need to learn and become aware of children’s behaviors in relation to bullying. To understand when intervention is necessary, how to deal with bullying and most importantly learn the signs and listen.
U.S. Department of Education. Office of Planning, Evaluation and Policy Development Policy and Program Studies Service. Analysis of the State of Bullying. December 2013.