A study conducted by the University of Michigan and published in the American Journal of Men’s Health in July looked at 160 gay men and their experiences in relationships in three cities – Atlanta, Boston, and Chicago. The study focused on domestic abuse in gay relationships compared to heterosexual couples. The study found key factors remained the same in intimate partner violence, such as drug abuse and financial insecurity, internalized homophobia in gay and bisexual men and was a major factor in male-mail domestic abuse.
“Findings revealed that IPV was more common among partners who had experienced homophobic violence and who had traditionally hegemonic views of masculinity that they had difficulty negotiating, referred to as ‘struggling to be the alpha,'” the research indicated.
The study interviewed both members of the couple in separate settings, which allowed both to be open and express the degree to which they are subject to, and perpetrated, abuse in the relationship. Researchers separated the study into five sections: “physical and sexual,” including hitting partner and rape, “emotional,” such as criticizing choices and behavior, “controlling,” as in preventing seeing family or friends, “monitoring,” reading emails and text messages, and “HIV-related” lying about HIV status and intentional transmission of HIV. The couples were recruited to be “serodiscordant,” meaning that one partner is infected by HIV and the other one is not.
45.6% of couples reported some form of abuse with their partners. 33.6% reported emotional violence, one in five reported monitoring violence, 9.7% experienced physical violence and 6.8% reported controlling behavior.
Rob Stephenson the lead author and a professor of nursing and director of the Center of Sexuality and Health Disparity hopes the studies finding can help facilitate changes in doctors and how they perceive domestic abuse.
The lead author of the study, University of Michigan professor of nursing and director of the Center for Sexuality and Health Disparity Rob Stephenson, hopes that the findings will change doctors’ perception of domestic abuse. “If you just looked at physical and sexual violence in male couples, it’s about 25 to 30 percent, roughly the same as women.”
The research sampling is limited, it is consistent with previous studies on domestic violence between same-sex couples. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in 2013 found that the rates of abuse in same-sex relationships were similar to those in heterosexual couples. In a study conducted by the Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine in Chicago, just one year later found higher rates of domestic violence in same-sex couples compared to opposite-sex ones.
“There are external stressors, like discrimination and violence against gays, and there are internal stressors, such as internalized negative attitudes about homosexuality,” Richard Carroll, a psychologist and co-author of the Northwestern research.
Photo: Blake Mitchell Instagram
Apparently when you’re an adult film star it pretty hard to date. According to Blake Mitchell of Helix Studios explained in a video why it feels lonely. He says that for any boyfriends it can be hard in public when people come up and say some inappropriate things: “People are gonna come up to me if we’re out together at a club possibly and make a compliment that if they made it to anybody else society would find it unacceptable,” he says.
He also admits that the travel and filing is something else that can be hard to handle, “to me, that’s my job…but I recognize from experience…what it feels like is being in a one-way open relationship and of course that’s not fair…it becomes a very difficult thing….” He also added that “There are people that think they can deal with it and then the months go by.”
Furthermore, he goes on to say: “I’m missing a piece of life that I could be having right now…and that’s a strangely painful thing to deal with to realize that I’ve picked this job over my personal life…it makes me sad sometimes but mostly it just contributes to that loneliness…the odds are stacked against me to find somebody who’s going to deal with my job, actually accept it, much less support and encourage me…”
Would you ever date an adult film star?
It appears that straight men watch gay porn at least a quarter of the time; at least to a new study. Adult film site YouPorn conducted a self-identified survey asking people how often they view same-sex porn. They discovered that 24 percent of straight men have had sex with other men and 36 percent of straight women.
The only question would be how honest the individuals are about their sexuality and sexual activity.
Returning to Lifetime for a third season UnREAL is a behind the scene drama of Everlasting; basically, a Bachelor-esque reality show run by sociopaths. Jeffrey's character is basically is the show's queer black moral arbiter.
He came out to his agent when he was 21 and started auditioning for parts “I knew 10 years ago that I primarily wanted to play queer characters,” he says. “The few times I played straight it was just so obvious how uncomfortable I was making the producers.”
Jeffery stated that it's important to have diversity when dealing with a show-within-a-show and his character “He feels a responsibility—that if he wasn’t there, having contestants’ backs, particularly female contestants of color, things would be worse. I don’t think he’d be able to walk away knowing they’d be systematically destroyed.”
“I’d be watching TV with my white friends and they’d be able to say, ‘Oh, that’s me, I’m just like her, I’m just like him,’ ” says Bowyer-Chapman, who originally trained to be a gymnast and worked for years as an international model. “I never saw myself in mainstream representations.”
He knows that landing a part as a gay character on an Emmy-nominated series is a major coup and a positive direction for queer black representation on TV. However, he admits that he gets calls from agents who would like him to be "less gay", all in an attempt to book straight roles.
But he prefers to play gay characters he stated that “even if I never played a gay character again, I’d find another platform to use my voice.” and “There were so many queer black bodies in the industry that didn’t feel safe coming out and being themselves for fear of physical safety or abandonment,” Bowyer-Chapman says. “They were living in a state of self-protection. That hasn’t been studied enough, but it’s time we started documenting it. And living openly.”
Something to think about: it appears that more people cheat in their relationship than we thought. According to a new survey, statistic found that 52% of gay men in monogamous relationships have cheated on their partners (boyfriends), and 45% confess that their partners never found out.
The study was conducted with nearly 1000 gay and/or bisexuals and conducted by FS magazine.
52% of the cheaters, 17% they had contracted an STI while fooling around, and 61% never told their partners, OUCH! The number of gay men who have been cheated on is even higher, 58% say a partner had been unfaithful.
Of the 52% of cheaters, 17% said they had picked up an STI while sneaking around–and 61% say they never told their partners about it.
These high numbers aren’t just limited to monogamous relationships. 40% in open relationships responded that their partners had violated or broken the rules set by the couple.
“17% of the gay men who admitted to cheating on their partner got an STI or HIV,” he says. “We recommend that all sexually active gay men, whether in a relationship or not, get tested for HIV and STI at least twice a year.” According to Ian Howley, Chief Executive of the Health Equality and Rights Organization.
So, if we’re going, to be honest, we must acknowledge that monogamy isn’t for everyone. All relationships must have direct and effective communication; you can’t be afraid to talk to your partner and always being honest with yourself.
The best sex in my opinion is sex that pushes our boundaries and makes us anxious. If not, sex just becomes consistent and safe, that equates to boring and limited sex. Experts state that pushing yourself into sex that makes you anxious is not only a sign of growth, but a direct move towards hotter orgasms. As humans we tend to focus on touching the body, and thus ignoring the high arousal of the verbal. I understand that there are those who are not fully into "dirty talk", but a little verbal reinforcement can go a long way in being sexual stimulated. For example dirty talk should be confined to the bedroom, sex can exist anywhere with sexting; furthermore sexting has become one of the best forms of arousal and eroticization.
Sex is about assessing compatibility and opening yourself and partners to what arouses us, and if both are an erotic match. Remembering that what you want sexually is not always possible, and relationships have limits
There is no way that anyone can make someone into a sexual being that they're not, but it's how we respond to a partner that is making a sexual request and especially when it comes down to a deep communication of care. So when asking your partner to talk dirty to you is not just about wanting some filth talk so that you can "get off". It becomes a request to be a good partner and learning how important you and sex are together. If you trust your partner, and you feel comfortable and safe with - asks for sex that tests or is outside of your boundaries, ALLWAYS DO IT!
Just keep in mind that if you want your partner to talk dirty to you, you have to ask for it, no one can read minds. Keep in mind that is you're going to ask something uncommon from someone, be prepared to show them as well. So next time you want some dirty talk make sure you establish boundaries as to what words are acceptable and what words are not. And it’s a bonus if your partner is more on the top or dom side of the sexual continuum, I've learned to test the waters and know that not everyone has the temperament, interest or sexual ability to give me the filth talk, and that's OK!
Two openly gay captains were wed at West Point on January 13, 2018. 26-year old Vincent Franchino married 20 year-old Daniel Hall, this is a historic first for the military academy. they were married at the West Point Cadet's Chapel and the wedding marks a another historic first for the famed U.S. military academy.
Both serve as Apache helicopter pilots at Fort Bliss, El Paso, Texas - they were married in uniform and exited the chapel under a archway of sabers held by other West Point attendees. Hall used his own saber to cut their wedding cake, a gift from his grandparents.
The two met in August 2009, Hall was a senior and Franchino was a freshman. They reportedly began dating in February 2012 just five months after the official repeal of the U.S. ban on openly gay, lesbian and bisexual military service-members known as "Don't Ask, Don't Tell."
Due to the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy they couldn't admit their mutual attraction when they first met. “Through mutual friends at West Point, they each learned the other was gay,” Hall said, “and though we were attracted to one another, we couldn’t say or do anything about it.”
Hall would become Franchino's mentor in a program pairing younger cadets with other older ones on a desired career path. After the repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell", the couple would share their relationship online with their families.
According to the men they have been called "faggots" while holding hands in public. Their biggest worry is when they serve apart at separate locations. Both would try to date other people for awhile instead of having a long-distance relationship, but they would eventually reunited.
In a recent interview with Gay Star News, professional wrestler Mike Parrow talked about dealing with being gay and living in a "closet". This was his first time speaking openly about his sexuality along with the long journey on accepting himself.
Four years ago the Orlando native would let close friends and family four years ago; but admits that he tired to fight his same-sex feelings by dating women. Something he regrets as he got older it would be hard to have any type of emotional relationship with women and therefore would end it by stating "I just don't think you're pretty." Something he wishes he could take back.
Moving to Orlando in his late 20's he stated that it was "absolutely the worst experience in my life." Believing it would be the perfect time to explore his sexuality. He learned that gay men could be the meanest, cruelest people you've ever met and that you can be masculine-shamed in the gay community in which he added "weird, but it happens." It would drive him to contemplate suicide and even sign up for conversion therapy, in which he describes as an "absolute joke."
Coming out to his family he admits was the hardest thing he every had to do, but understanding if he was going to be true to himself and to be himself he had to. His mother a Sunday school teacher summed it up perfectly " God doesn't make mistakes."
‘I told my dad and he was like, “Yeah?” And I’m like, “Yeah?” And he was like, “Well, you’ve got to give me some credit. I am a detective. I kind of figured that out of all the girls you kept denying that you didn’t like girls, I was just waiting for you to tell me!” Mike Parrow
With regards to his wrestling career it appears that he has not run into much homophobia, and when he does he address it ‘When I personally hear those things I address it. So, I will go up to them and say, “If you have a problem, we can discuss this.” he stated.
It appears that more professional athletes come out as gay and breaking down stereotypes and barriers. It shows the progress of the LGBT community. However, even we have to admit we have a long way to go to accepting people who they are and the choices they make in their lives.
What are your thoughts?
Have you ever thought about kink, and what would it be like. Well lets just say you might be in for a surprise. Researcher Katharine Gates looked into the world of kink, this vast sometime unknown scene of desire. Her new book "Deviant Desires: A Tour of the Erotic Edge" she explores the vast world of kink and ties them all together in a chart. How they are somewhat interchanged with each other, some are just downright predatory and in some cases criminal.
Gabriel H. Sanchez interviewed Katherine Gates for BuzzFeed. This is the complete article "10 Sex Kinks That Prove There's No One Way To Do It".
What do you Think?
A news study of more than 25,000 people in the United Kingdom and 9,000 in Australia conducted by Janeen Baxter and Francisco Perales of the University of Queensland found that same-sex couples are indubitably happier than their straight counter parts. However the study showed that bisexuals are less happier in relationships.
It was suggested that same-sex couples might have stronger bonds because they're less intent on sticking to tried-and-true gender roles. “Individuals in same-sex couples (particularly lesbian women) generally are more equitable in the ways in which they allocate domestic work, including childcare.” While straight couples tend to always want to reaffirm gender roles, which can lead to a destructive power dynamic.
Relationship quality in same-sex couples was as high as in heterosexual couples in the United Kingdom,” they conclude, “and higher in Australia.
The research showed to some extent that gay couples sometimes or more than likely feel aligned with the LGBT community or like-minded couples. This might explain their happiness: “Individuals in same-sex relationships may be more likely than those in different-sex relationships to have high relationship investment….This study shows a strong support for the changing of laws and policies to legalize adoption and parenting rights for same-sex couples. At the same time the study shows a strong need to pay attention to bisexual individuals since their outcomes are comparatively poor.
WHAT DO YOU THINK? IN YOUR EXPERIENCE ARE GAY COUPLES HAPPIER?