In a recent interview with Gay Star News, professional wrestler Mike Parrow talked about dealing with being gay and living in a "closet". This was his first time speaking openly about his sexuality along with the long journey on accepting himself.
Four years ago the Orlando native would let close friends and family four years ago; but admits that he tired to fight his same-sex feelings by dating women. Something he regrets as he got older it would be hard to have any type of emotional relationship with women and therefore would end it by stating "I just don't think you're pretty." Something he wishes he could take back.
Moving to Orlando in his late 20's he stated that it was "absolutely the worst experience in my life." Believing it would be the perfect time to explore his sexuality. He learned that gay men could be the meanest, cruelest people you've ever met and that you can be masculine-shamed in the gay community in which he added "weird, but it happens." It would drive him to contemplate suicide and even sign up for conversion therapy, in which he describes as an "absolute joke."
Coming out to his family he admits was the hardest thing he every had to do, but understanding if he was going to be true to himself and to be himself he had to. His mother a Sunday school teacher summed it up perfectly " God doesn't make mistakes."
‘I told my dad and he was like, “Yeah?” And I’m like, “Yeah?” And he was like, “Well, you’ve got to give me some credit. I am a detective. I kind of figured that out of all the girls you kept denying that you didn’t like girls, I was just waiting for you to tell me!” Mike Parrow
With regards to his wrestling career it appears that he has not run into much homophobia, and when he does he address it ‘When I personally hear those things I address it. So, I will go up to them and say, “If you have a problem, we can discuss this.” he stated.
It appears that more professional athletes come out as gay and breaking down stereotypes and barriers. It shows the progress of the LGBT community. However, even we have to admit we have a long way to go to accepting people who they are and the choices they make in their lives.
What are your thoughts?
Have you ever thought about kink, and what would it be like. Well lets just say you might be in for a surprise. Researcher Katharine Gates looked into the world of kink, this vast sometime unknown scene of desire. Her new book "Deviant Desires: A Tour of the Erotic Edge" she explores the vast world of kink and ties them all together in a chart. How they are somewhat interchanged with each other, some are just downright predatory and in some cases criminal.
Gabriel H. Sanchez interviewed Katherine Gates for BuzzFeed. This is the complete article "10 Sex Kinks That Prove There's No One Way To Do It".
What do you Think?
A news study of more than 25,000 people in the United Kingdom and 9,000 in Australia conducted by Janeen Baxter and Francisco Perales of the University of Queensland found that same-sex couples are indubitably happier than their straight counter parts. However the study showed that bisexuals are less happier in relationships.
It was suggested that same-sex couples might have stronger bonds because they're less intent on sticking to tried-and-true gender roles. “Individuals in same-sex couples (particularly lesbian women) generally are more equitable in the ways in which they allocate domestic work, including childcare.” While straight couples tend to always want to reaffirm gender roles, which can lead to a destructive power dynamic.
Relationship quality in same-sex couples was as high as in heterosexual couples in the United Kingdom,” they conclude, “and higher in Australia.
The research showed to some extent that gay couples sometimes or more than likely feel aligned with the LGBT community or like-minded couples. This might explain their happiness: “Individuals in same-sex relationships may be more likely than those in different-sex relationships to have high relationship investment….This study shows a strong support for the changing of laws and policies to legalize adoption and parenting rights for same-sex couples. At the same time the study shows a strong need to pay attention to bisexual individuals since their outcomes are comparatively poor.
WHAT DO YOU THINK? IN YOUR EXPERIENCE ARE GAY COUPLES HAPPIER?
If we're going to be honest I had never heard of Colby Melvin. It's impossible to follow everyone in the LGBT culture and to me he was just another pretty face. But I took the time to read the article published by Queerty. The article talks about his coming out in conservative Alabama, the pressures of modeling, being a young gay man, HIV testing, and some other interesting topics.
When I first came out I was scared to get tested. I hadn’t really received much education on how to take care of myself. Over the years I’ve learned and become much more comfortable talking with my doctor and regularly getting checked. Colby Melvin
Regardless if you're a fan of following young gay men or not. I found this article to very open and interesting. We tend to forget that while they have amazing bodies, they are for all intents and purposes people.
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Having grown up in the South I have of admit that I'm a little bias. I remember my mother pounding it into me that southern men should have impeccable manners, always hold the door open for ladies, napkins should be placed on your lap, never talk back to your elders, never raise your voice, along with many other rules of proper manners. Anyone who has grown up there understands this!
But it's the accent that's the most desirable, do southern men live up to their charm in other ways, too? Why, yes, they do? They don't call us "southern gentlemen" for nothing.
So, why do southern guys make the best boyfriends? (Just note that this isn't always true, there are crappy, rude and stupid southern men, like anywhere else).
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As we all know falling in love is the easiest part of a relationship or any relationship for that matter. The hardest part of any relationship is commitment and keeping the relationship going. Experts claim that passionate love only last 2 to 4 years, which can create problems for any relationship, and that mutual respect and compatibility then become increasingly important. However, if you are gay (homosexual) you understand that keeping a relationship health is hard work.
Most gay relationships today never last past 5 years according to Psychologist Jess Bering. He states “that for most gay relationship it is at this point that either one or both partners will “fall out of love” or “disinterested”. It is important to understand that in the animal kingdom the primary goal of most male species is to reproduce. Humans are no different, but for some couples a legal marriage prevents most from going outside of their relationship (we know this is not always the case), and only because there are legal consequences.
"Heartbreak is every bit as much a psychological adaptation as is the compulsion to have sex with those other than our partners, and it throws a monster of a monkey wrench into the evolutionists' otherwise practical polyamory." Psychologist Jesse Bering
Mutual respect and compatibly then becomes increasingly important as the relationship progresses. Here are a few tips that might help gay couples to remain committed to your partner.
Communicate - This is key for a long lasting relationship. Never allow small frictions in your relationship to be blown out of proportion. Be open and honest with your partner about what you are thinking and feeling, big or small. If you are bothered by something then speak up and discuss the issue together and remember once resolved it is over. Don't go back and rehash or live a problem.
Spend quality time together - the demands of life and work will always affect your relationship. It is equally important to establish time together or "Us" time. Together you should both block our time on your calendar and schedule other commitments around that date.
Experiment with sex - No matter what you do avoid at all cost "gay/lesbian bed death." Sexual passion and activity diminished in long term homosexual relationships, it's going happen. It does take some effort to spice up your sex life. Both of you should consider exploring activities you've never done before. Don't ever exceed your partner's boundaries, there should be a frank, open and honest discussion about each other limits, and there should always be respect. For example, try doing some role play, this will allow each other to explore another side of sex without feeling pressure.
Keeping a relationship fresh - This can be some work, but in the long run it is well worth it. Try introducing elements of surprise or anything fresh in your relationship; this will help you remain committed to your partner. Sending flowers without an occasion or an extraordinary active will help keep a relationship vibrant and interesting.
Avoid Jealousy - Unfortunately jealousy in all too common in the gay community. Without a doubt it will destroy any relationship. Jealousy mostly occurs when either one or both don't trust each other. We you have to start checking email, social media, call or texting all of the time, knowing where each other is at all times; there is no trust, and without trust there is no relationship (healthy at least). If you feel controlled by your partner you should confront and have a discussion, express how your feeling and resolve any issues.
Compromise - It is easy to always feel that you're right. To have a good relationship you need to always keep an open mind about any situation. This involves keeping your relationship on a even ground and establishes balance.
Just always know what you get out of any relationship is what you put into it. This is two people working together for a common goal, to be happy, healthy, understanding each other, accepting their faults, never expecting them to live up to you expectations, and above all trust.
Source: Ryan, Christopher, and Cacilda Jetha. Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality. N.p.: Haper Collins, 2010. Print.
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Once again the Louisiana State Legislature has denied protections for the LGBT community by voting for a bill 17-14 against (R) Rep. Patrick Connick's bill (HB 27) which removed the requirement the victim was of the opposite sex in order to for the act to be considered domestic violence. Like Republican's in the U.S. Senate there was no debate on the bill, in fact five Democratic Senator's were absent for the vote; which shows that this bill was not important to the welfare and safety of those in the LGBT community. Louisiana will be one of two states denying same sex couples protections, joining South Carolina (no surprise there).
Studies have shown that domestic violence affects at least 25% to 75% of lesbian, gay and bisexual individuals. The issue remains that there lacks firm or convulsive data and under reporting of abuse that paints an incomplete picture of the total landscape, suggesting an even higher rate.
Domestic violence -- at times called intimate partner violence -- this can be physical, sexual or psychological harm occurring between current and/or former intimate partners. Some research began in the 1970's in response to the women's movement, but studies focus more on women that are being abused by men in opposite-sex relationships.
There have been cities around the United States that have made great strides in dealing or combating same sex domestic abuse. The LGBT community still faces obstacles accessing help. Experts suggest that local LGBT community leaders "educate health care providers about the presence of this problem, and remind them to assess for it in homosexual relationships" states Richard Carroll, associate professor in psychiatry at Northwestern University.
So while we fight for equality, and the right to be protected. Just remember that in the state of Louisiana you don't have even the basic rights for protections against domestic abuse; and let's be honest most local and state police don't take this issue seriously. While we have made advances, why don't we as a community talk about this? How do LGBT advocates regard this issue? It appears that we are in the dark ages of social justice, you know that time where everyone just pretended it never happened, therefore, we just don't talk about it.
IF YOU NEED HELP OR KNOW SOMEONE WHO NEEDS HELP WITH DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. CONTACT YOUR LOCAL POLICE OR CALL 911
SAGE LGBT ELDER HOTLINE: 1-888-234-7243
LGBT NATIONAL HOTLINE: 1-888-843-4564
CRISIS TEXT LINE: TEXT CONNECT TO 741741 IN THE UNITED STATES
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Knight, Charlotte, and Kath Wilson. "Domestic Violence and Abuse in Same-Sex Relationships." Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Trans People (LGBT) and the Criminal Justice System (2016): 179-206. Web.
Roy, Tulsi. "Intimate Partner Violence." Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Healthcare (2016): 125-40. Web.
The U.S. Supreme Court ruling in Obergefill v. Hodges in 2015 would alter the landscape of American society forever, and thus changing the rights of gays throughout the United States to get married. Justice Kennedy stated in the decision that marriage is "a keystone of our social order," and the 5-4 Supreme Court voted effectively prohibited individual states from banning same-sex marriages.
This historic ruling opened the door for homosexual married couples to claim the same numerous benefits awarded to heterosexual couples. Before the U.S. Supreme Court decision there were only 19 states and the District of Columbia that recognized same-sex marriage. In 2013 the Court would declared parts of the Defense of Marriage Act to be unconstitutional and paved the way for married same-sex couples in these states to claim the same protections and benefits afforded to heterosexual couples. However, the 2013 decision did not require states that did not recognize same-sex marriage to begin doing so.
It's important to understand that by allowing same-sex couples to get married, protections that were once out of their reach were now afforded to them. We don't tend to think these protections are important, but as you will see these benefits can and have a profound impact on our daily lives.
Legal Rights Accorded to Married Couples
According to a report given to the Office of the General Counsel of the U.S. General Accounting Office, here are a few of the benefits provided by the federal government to legally married couples:
Many state-level benefits mirror those that are available at the federal level, but states offer additional rights.
Marriages vs. Civil Unions or Domestic Partnerships
Many of the states that did not recognized same-sex marriages before the 2015 Obergefell v. Hodges Supreme Court decisions nonetheless permitted registered domestic partnerships and civil unions between same-sex couples. It's important to note that these arrangements are not the same as marriage. They often convey limited, similar rights as marriage, but you might find that you don't enjoy the full scope of benefits afforded by the 2015 decision unless you and your partner take steps to legally marry.
Read the full list of legalized marriage benefits.
There are many reasons to get married, you have to understand what legal rights that you have, and remember once married and for some reason it doesn't work out, you just can't "walk" away from the marriage. Gay marriage is not for everyone, and that's OK, it's a personal decision!
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Source: Office of the General Counsel. U.S. General Accounting Office. GAO/OGC-97-16. Letter. Jan. 31, 1997
When it comes to dating there are so many options. Do you prefer the flashy guy with a smooth smile or the nerd in the corner typing away on his laptop? There are reasons why gay men appear to be attracted to the nerdy type.
While nerds (geeks) can tend to be awkward, they are well-meaning. I mean that jock is usually worried about one thing and it's not you. Most nerds idealistic, and tend to be more emotional by nature.
They're useful. I mean in this tech-savvy world, it's always nice to have a boyfriend that can get your laptop working again, and let's be honest anything electronic working like it should.
They're more romantic than they're given credit for. Their idea of romance might be to make up a spiffy web-page with all the reasons they love you, but hey it will last longer than flowers. There are many reasons why gay nerd men make better boyfriends, lovers and husbands. Here are just a few good reasons, according to people I've talked to. Remember this is just my opinion and isn't meant to be typical stereotype of gay men in general.
Because of their scarcity nerds really do have it harder in the LGBT community when it comes to dating or having boyfriends. Now these are my observations, there are plenty who are into sports, concerts, race cars, clothing; they do come in every shape and size, interest and nerds are considered to be quite, which in my opinion are the most sexually adventurous.
So the next time you see that good looking nerd sitting alone, take a chance and talk with him!
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All women face certain health risks. However, sexual minority women, such as those who identify as lesbian or bisexual as well as women who have sex with women, have some specific health concerns.
Although your individual risks are shaped by many factors beyond your sexual orientation and practices — including family history and age — it's important to understand common health issues for sexual minority women and steps you can take to stay healthy.
SAFEGUARD YOUR MENTAL HEALTH
Minority women are at a higher risk or depression and anxiety. Also, youth who identify themselves as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender have a higher risk of depression and attempted suicide.
Contributing factors include social alienation, discrimination, and rejection by loved ones, abuse and violence. These issue might be more severe for sexual minority women who are not "out" to others and those who lack social support. If left untreated, depression can lead to risky sexual behavior and a downward of spiral of emotional, behavioral, health, and possible legal and financial problems.
PROTECT YOURSELF FROM SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED INFECTIONS
Sexually transmitted infections (STI's) such as human papillomavirus (HPV), bacterial vaginosis and trichomoniasis can spread between women. Oral sex and sexual behavior involving digital-vaginal or digital-anal contact, particularly with shared penetrative sex toys, can spread infections as well.
Sexual contact is also a possible means of contracting HIV. To date there is no cure for HIV/AIDS and many sexually transmitted infections, such as HPV and genital herpes. The best way to stay healthy is to always practice safe sex.
TO PROTECT YOURSELF FROM SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED INFECTIONS:
Make routine health care a priority. Some sexual minority women struggle to find a doctor knowledgeable about their specific health issues and with whom they feel comfortable discussing their needs and concerns. The website for the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association is one place to find referrals for doctors.
Look for a doctor who is curious, emphatic and respectful of your specific needs. Share your sexual orientation with you provider, and ask about routine screenings recommend for women in your age group; such as blood pressure, and cholesterol measurements, and screenings for breast cancer and cervical cancer.
If you're not in a long-term, mutually monogamous relationship, schedule regular screening for sexually transmitted infections (STI's). Share any other health concerns you might have with your doctor as well. Early diagnosis and treatment helps promote long-term health.
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Source: Conhran, Susan, Ph.D. "EPublications." Lesbian and Bisexual Health Fact Sheet. U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services, 16 July 2012. Web. 01 May 2017.