Written by: Mike G. - Personal Opinion
This is going to be a long and very homophobic rant, but it truly is how I feel. I am sorry if I offend anyone, but I just need to let this all out.
I absolutely hate being gay, I hate it more than anything in the world. I feel like I'm in a bubble of my own looking out at everyone living happy straight lives. My god how I envy straight people. I look at them with such adoration, how they were born the way Mother Nature intended it to be. I feel so miserable watching how perfect it looks to me, a man and woman together, the way it's always been through time, the way we all came to be.
Nobody knows that I am gay. I live in a very homophobic family and I doubt my friends would accept me. Just so god tortures me more I live in the gayest friendly city on the planet, New York City.
All I think about is how dreadful the future will be when I start to see my friends getting married and having children while I'm left out on my own like I always am. How will I continue to keep this secret in the future? Every single happy moment of my life, in the back of my head, I remember that I am gay and instantly I know this happiness won't ever last.
My parents, my friends, everyone in my life, it's all just fake. If they ever knew I was gay they would treat me differently. I would always be that "gay" friend. I envy them so much, how normal they are. They don't need to carry this kind of burden. Hell, I've built such a straight life around me that nobody would even believe me if I came out.
I feel like if I were straight, I would be a whole person. I never function as well as I can. I never truly smile like I mean it.
The worst part is that I've entered into relationships with girls, they would start off strong, but after a while I would be so consumed with guilt about secretly lying to them I would put less and less effort into the relationship because I figured it's all fake anyway, and Im not normal no matter how normal I seem when I have a girlfriend. In the beginning though, it feels SO perfect.
I hate your sex obsessed culture, I hate your "sassy gay" way of talking, I hate your vanity, I don't want to be part of it! I'm not a twink! Or a bottom! Or a top!
I hate that I don't see men as romantic partners, only sexual ones. I hate anal sex, I hate how I feel after masturbating to gay porn. I hate that there is no light at the end of the tunnel. I'm 21 years old, I want to be out meeting girls, having fun, living life. Gay people are such a small percentage of the population, WHY the hell did I have to end up this way?
Written by: Mike C. - Personal Opinion
Dating overall can be fun, but at the same time, it can suck. It’s even worse when you have a disability. While a freshman in high school, I had my first crush and realized that I wasn’t just deaf buy gay, and it made me come to understand that being a double minority compounded my sense of alienation.
Most within the LGBT community have heterosexual parents, at the same time only 5 to 10% of deaf people have deaf parents. Don’t misunderstand me my parents are incredibly supportive. I’ve always accepted that there would be two fundamental differences between us, one being gay and secondly being deaf.
When I finally finished high school I had learned more or less how to navigate the world as a deaf gay man, and it wasn’t easy. The dating pool is much smaller and faced a lot of discrimination.
I’m always asked if it’s harder to be a gay man in the deaf community or deaf in the gay community. It’s not an easy question to answer, but I tend to feel more comfortable being deaf in the deaf community. You see deaf people are more accepting of my sexual orientation as opposed to being deaf in the queer community which has created a sense of isolation and low self-esteem. I’ve learned over time that most gay men are extremely unaccepting of those who don’t “it into” a certain mold. If you’re not handsome, fit, and white you tend to get shunned.
It has also been difficult in terms of communication and cultural understanding since most gay men can’t sign and know little to nothing about the deaf community. I’ve come to understand that using your hands to communicate is looked down upon by gay men and associated with femininity. This could be due to internalized homophobia, they are less comfortable with guys who are expressive in this way. So it is harder for me to be my true self with other guys.
Don’t get me wrong being deaf has made me a better person, a more thoughtful and caring person. I don’t want to see my two parts as a negative, so I view them as qualities that make me unique and I’m truly blessed to be a part of a tight-knit, vibrant community. As for Mr. Right, will I’m willing to wait, there’s no rush. When the right person comes along I’ll know and he’ll accept all the parts of me.
Written By: Trey S. – Personal Opinion
Despite the “it’s great being gay in the United States” mantra, it is a known fact that gay men are dying, and not just because of AIDS. The LGBT culture faces an epidemic of chronic alcohol and drug misuse, fueled along with society’s homophobia. This all plays out in a culture that celebrates obliteration and quick, easy sex.
If you believe that homophobia has somehow just gone away because of the right to marry think again. Take an average 11-year old kid who has just realized he is gay. Like everyone in society you typically grow up believing that you are expected to get married, have kids along with everything else mainstream life entails. You would have learned that being gay is wrong – either form your parents, school, politicians or form religious organizations that condemn you, I mean literally, to hell.
Then you become overloaded with shame and guilt, then you bury your realization. Soon other children recognize and react to you differently. If you’re able and strong enough you weather the bullying and come out of your teens alive and don’t get married, hide away in the church, and most likely come out onto the gay scene.
David Hoyle once described the gay scene as “the biggest suicide cult in history.” Take this into account, gay bars and clubs just buckle under the weight of the unrealistic expectation of doing for gay people what society refuses to. Then a dysfunctional relationship develops with the commercial forces of the gay scene which suggest a constant supply of deeply shamed people who are just searching for validation and love in a shirtless nightclub, sex clubs or saunas. It a wonder any of us make it through sober or alive.
Among all of this is the HIV and SDI epidemic that seems to be taking hold of our culture. As advances in treatment have stemmed the issue today younger men are willing and able to take risks that not long ago meant certain death. How we have become complacent and lazy when it comes to our health believing that just by taking a pill we can continue with our lives. To a certain extent, you are able to live a healthy and productive life, but there has to be a level of responsibility that for some reason we tend to ignore. On top of that there the metal issues that have had a major impact on our lives. You don’t really have to look far to find friends who have had breakdowns, whose partners have committed suicide, or whose lives have been destroyed by depression, alcohol, and drugs, not to mention those have decided to engage in risky sex without thinking of the consequences. Don’t get me started on social media, that’s an entirely different issue.
Now don’t get me wrong not this doesn’t apply to everyone. There are a huge number of gay men living happy, successful lives and most do practice safe sex. This has become a serious issue within the LGBT community; the state and healthcare providers have failed to adequately address the root causes of self-destructive behavior. It’s time we look within our community and begin to address the shaming, hate and racially divided community. Until we face our own internal issue, how can we even think to move forward? As we come off of Pride month, have we learned anything? I think not, once the parades and festivals end we just go back to our negative behavior and nothing has changed.
It’s time to rethink our priorities, to lobby the government to ensure our rights, to come together and once against prejudices within and if anyone, friend or foe, resists, then it’s about time they go out of our way.
The following article is the opinion of the author and does not reflect the opinion of Squirrel News, it's employee's or advertisers.
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