Written By: Nick R. – Personal Opinion
“Coming out” has different meanings to many people, and for some not coming out at all is their preference. I am one of those people, and I don’t have an issue with not coming out. The only people who know about my homosexuality are my parents, some family and really close friends (let’s not forget the men I’ve hook-up with).
I choose to live in the “closet” for personal reasons and no I’m not ashamed of being gay. Not in the least. I’ve decided that I prefer not coming out to the public, and to be honest it’s my business.
I came out to my parents when I was 24 and about to move to New Orleans. While my parents took the news ok, it would take my dad several years to accept my sexuality. Growing up in a small conservative town did shape my perspective on life and one’s sexuality. I wouldn’t have my first sexual encounter with a man until I at the University of Louisiana at Lafayette, I was 19. I had no idea what to do, so my first experience was a disaster and I really didn’t want to repeat the experience.
You could say I was self-taught about gay sex, through several awkward sexual moments I began to learn how to suck cock, eat ass (being clean), 69, and sexual positions for fucking, yes I’m a top. I quickly learned that most gay men in New Orleans are shellfish when it comes to sex, and most have no imagination.
At 27 I learned that the gay community in New Orleans (applied to other cities as well) is a cluster-fuck of vain, judgmental, arrogant, narcissistic men. No matter where you went you could hear the talking, shaming, tearing people apart, and the drugs; to me the exclusion of young men because they didn’t fit this perceived mold of what it means to be a gay man was the most shameful. It was at this point I decided to go back into “the closet.” I’ve never really had “preferences” when it comes to sexual partners, just be honest and upfront with what you want and my only requirement is being clean (your ass and body).
I’m 34 now and still in the closet!
I have no regrets about the choice I’ve made. Some would say it’s about me being embarrassed about who I am. So, let me clear this misconception up; I know who I am as a person, and being gay doesn’t define me as a person. I really don’t have a problem not telling anyone I’m gay, I just don’t feel the need to scream it from the rooftops.
Some would say I’m missing out on the experience of being around people who are like myself. From my perspective, I’m not missing a thing. I have an active sex life with no complaints and who cares when fucking if you’re in the closet? Is that a question you ask when hooking up a guy? I don’t recall seeing “I’m out” on hook-up (social) apps. I’ve never asked someone if they are out and don’t intend to start now, to be honest, it’s none of my business and it shouldn’t be yours as well.
Men of all ages have different reasons for not coming out, and who gives anyone the right to force or shame someone for not coming out? Do we really accept everyone for who they are or just those that conform to those perceived standards? I’ve seen men destroyed by other gays simply for being different or trying to be themselves. Whether or not you are out doesn’t define e as a man nor does it diminish my masculinity
Until the gay culture learns to truly accept everyone as they are we are nothing more than a hypocritical, petty community just waiting to destroy or judge someone.
The following article is a personal opinion and does not reflect the opinion of Squirrel News, it's employee's or any third-party.