Millennials appear to be happy being single but do yearn to be married so they wed themselves in a growing trend called sologamy. It has become quite popular in the past few years, and there’s even a website called IMarriedMe.com.
For many single individuals, they appear more than happy going through life single, however, do crave romance but don’t want to commit to marriage.
This is where “romansturbation” comes in.
Cocktails and Cocktalk reports:
We’d been discussing the current situation of our libidos, as boys do, and while some of our sex drives were through the roof, squeezing three or four wanks into a day, others were taking a different approach.
It involves the like of lighting candles, scattering rose petals and putting some champagne on ice, all to seduce… themselves.
Matt tells Cocktails and Cocktalk that he first read about the idea of self-dating in a book after he split up with his boyfriend four years ago. Since then, he’s been all about romansturbation.
“I prefer one long session, to a few little ones,” he says. “Light some candles, have a little prosecco.”
Matt says a typical evening starts with fixing himself a nice, home-cooked meal followed by a slow, sensual, self-induced orgasm.
“It just helps if I’m feeling a bit down; like a date night with myself,” he explains. “It’s a bit like a ritual, especially if I’m feeling a bit lonely.”
He now spends more on scented candles, erotic oils, and fine wines than he does on rent. But that’s OK. Because he’s worth it!
James Rackover, 27 has been sentenced to 28 years in prison for the brutal murder of 26-year-old Joseph Comunale. Rackover is the lover to prominent Manhattan jeweler Jeffrey Rackover. According to the New York Post, the murder happened November, 13, 2016 at Jeffrey Rackover’s Upper East Side apartment.
Not-with-standing the strange relationship, James is the lover and the adopted son of Jeffrey Rackoover, 57.
Prosecutors argued that Rackover and a friend Larry Dilione, 30, murdered Joseph Comunale after a night of hard partying. Reportedly Dilione met Comunale for the first time that night, and the two then went over to Rackover’s residence for a late-night afterparty.
Apparently, an argument broke out because of a lack of cocaine, which somehow leads Rackover and Dilione beating Comunale unconscious, then dragging him to the bathtub where they stabbed him 15 times.
A former friend of Rackover’s, Louis Ruggiero, son of Fox5 “Good Day New York” host Rosanna Scotto, was called to the stand to describe a confession he received from Rackover the following day.
“I slit his throat and stabbed him,” Rackover told him.
In an attempt to cover up the crime, Rackover, Dilione, and a third man who was present that night but not part of the killing, Max Gemma, bleached the bathroom.
After ordering takeout of “organic burgers and fries”, they drove the body to Oceanport, New Jersey, poured gasoline over it and burned it in a shallow grave.
Rackover’s defense team argued Dilione was the real killer, and that Rackover only helped cover up the crime.
Manhattan Supreme Court Justice James Burke gave Rackover the maximum sentence available.
“This is precisely the rare kind of case that maximum consecutive sentences are reserved for, and no other lesser sentence would make much sense,” he said.
Paddy Smyth was born with cerebral palsy. In a op0ed written for International Day of Persons with Disabilities he opens up about being disabled and the impact it’s had on his love life.
“My insecurities about having a disability included not feeling hot enough, not feeling like I was worth enough,” Smyth writes candidly.
“We live in a society where it’s all about the image you have. And I never fit into that ideal of a gay person.”
Smyth describes dating with a disability as “cutthroat.”
“Us gays can be bitches,” he says.
Recounting some of the conversations he’s had with guys while out on the scene, he writes:
Guys would be direct–they’d say ‘can you even have sex though, are you able to do it?’ or ‘it must be really difficult for you’. Hearing those things can be very disheartening. Disabled people are treated like babies, like newborns, people are very protective. I think that’s a lot of why they can’t find someone with a disability attractive–because society’s instinct is to protect them and keep them safe, like we’re going to shatter.
Apps like Grindr and SCRUFF aren’t much better.
Smyth says he could hide his disability on them for a while, but sooner or later “I’d have to have that weird conversation–‘I’m actually disabled’ and then guys would go ‘how disabled?’ and then it would turn into a thing where they would think I’d be worse than I am.”
When he wasn’t dealing with that, Smyth was fielding off guys who fetishized his disability.
“Sometimes for guys, I would have been a fantasy. They would be like–‘oh my god, you’re disabled’, so I could be a notch on the bedpost. They could fantasize about it–overpower me almost.”
Today, Smyth is in a relationship with a man who he says loves him for him and couldn’t care less about his disability.
Thinking about what advice he might give his younger self, he writes:
The advice I would give to my younger self would be to believe in myself more. And to not try so hard to fit in- to accept my own flag and fly it. And don’t be afraid not to be liked! Have the confidence in yourself to be okay with people not liking you.
We all know that stereotypes in the gay community is rampant and pervasive. A 19-year-old masculine bottom says he has problems keeping men’s attention as a black “extremely masc” bottom. He believes that it due to the face that he doesn’t conform to perceptions of what bottoms should look and act like.
“I’m the big black muscle guy that looks like a top,” he writes on Reddit. “I’m 19, but I’m beefy as hell, so most people think I’m in my late 20s. I’m also a complete submissive bitch, but most guys don’t expect that out of me. I’m not opposed to topping, but I only like to top guys that I know will be around for a while (like a FWB or a romantic interest). I’ve been told I’m handsome and all of that, but all guys want is the lightweight twink they can throw around. All of my hookups have called me a big dude in a good way, but it seems like it isn’t the dream. Plus, I’m black so everybody thinks I’m a top as well.”
This author would be glad that he is the dream for some men. “How rare of a species is this?” one wrote in a DataLounge forum thread about masc bottoms. “I think I’ve finally found one, and, damn, am I in heaven.”
“Masculine bottom porn suggestions most welcome,” commented another user.
On another DataLounge thread, someone asked if masculine guys bottoming is “hot or not.” Responses to that post included “very hot” and “the best.”
That addresses the perception that masculine men can’t be desired as bottoms, but what about the bias against black men as bottoms? Unfortunately, the Redditor is far from alone, and the fetishization of certain races is yet again to blame. Take this Thought Catalog essay titled “Dear White Gays: Not All Black Guys Are Tops.”
“I want you to know that when you approach me at the bar or online and you assume I’m a top, or that I’m hung, or that I’m hung and a top, I feel dehumanized,” the author writes. “It feels like you’re reducing me to a thing that can perform a service for you, not like a mutual bond, the way sex should be.
He concludes: “When you’re a black gay guy, bottoming is a political stance. It’s a small way of saying, I don’t want to play the game of upholding dehumanizing stereotypes and images. I don’t want to confirm media and cultural stereotypes about black ‘virile’ masculinity.”
Moral of the story: We should all just appreciate humanity in its all many forms, and, more specifically, men who have sex with men in all their many roles.
Age is just a number… or is it?
A new survey conducted by Gay Star News that found that a whole lot of people are lying about their age on dating apps. Over 3,000 people participated in the survey, which was conducted earlier this month. One if four respondents admitted they had lied about their age at least once while chatting with a potential new hookup.
Among those people who say they’ve been dishonest on their quests to get laid:
The answer is pretty simple: Agism.
When asked about agism, 60% of respondents said their experience of dating was “totally” ageist, compared to 16% who said the scene was a “little” ageist, and 6% who said it was “maybe” ageist.
Many respondents also expressed fear about getting older. 31% said they were terrified about losing their looks, while 42% said they worried about losing their partner or loved ones.
Let’s be honest about this. It is no secret that some (most) gay men will lie about their age. We live in an age, body-obsessed culture. So, when you turn a certain age you are no longer considered good looking or “hot”.
Well, who would have guessed, but according to a new report from the RAND Corp. Marines have more sex than any other branch in the United States military. The survey was completed in 2015 for the Health Related Behaviors Survey, included about 17,000 participants and covered all branches of the military.
It was found that Marines are more than likely to “engage in riskier sexual behavior” by having “more than one sex partner of the course of one year.” You could just look at it this way Marines are more sex-positive than soldiers, sailors, and airmen.
Dr. Sarah Meadows who lead the study cautioned people to not cast judgment over the findings. She stated: “We’re not trying to blame anyone for this, but the Marine Corps does tend to stand out,” she says. “Each of the services has their own culture. “ She added, “Marines tend to be young men. Compared to young men on college campuses, it’s pretty similar.”
The study also revealed that Marines are significantly more likely to smoke cigarettes, cigars and e-cigarettes and binge drink.
As we say in the south, bless his heart!
It appears that some Christian conservatives are appalled at Fox News and its recent direction. Apparently because LGBTQ acceptance has crept into the last bastion of good, Christian values – right-wing propaganda.
Doug Mainwaring who writes for Life Site is now taking the network to task for supposedly endorsing sodomy and losing sight of our Lord and Savior. As an example he used Guy Benson’s Fox colleague’s reactions when Benson announced plans to marry his longtime boyfriend. Well, Jesus mush have rolled over in his grave when he received well wishes.
This is what Doug had to say:
In [congratulating Benson on his engagement], they reveal they are not true conservatives, and that the Catholics among them are not fully dedicated to Catholic teaching. They have a soft spot for romantic sodomy. He goes on to list all the out Fox News personalities, making sure to use condescending quotations when he talks about their “marriages.”
Later he manages to get a decent burn in at D.C. gays, though it’s really only funny out of context, not the way he meant it — that because Fox films in NYC and D.C., they clearly have been infiltrated by pro-gay factions.
“Gays and lesbians are nothing special in D.C. In fact, they are exceedingly ordinary,” he writes, tongue nowhere near his cheek.
Then he argues that “Fox…publicly favor[s] sodomy for gays over and above chastity.”
Boy, if Fox News is becoming too left-leaning for you, it’s time for a long, hard look in the mirror.
A study conducted by the University of Michigan and published in the American Journal of Men’s Health in July looked at 160 gay men and their experiences in relationships in three cities – Atlanta, Boston, and Chicago. The study focused on domestic abuse in gay relationships compared to heterosexual couples. The study found key factors remained the same in intimate partner violence, such as drug abuse and financial insecurity, internalized homophobia in gay and bisexual men and was a major factor in male-mail domestic abuse.
“Findings revealed that IPV was more common among partners who had experienced homophobic violence and who had traditionally hegemonic views of masculinity that they had difficulty negotiating, referred to as ‘struggling to be the alpha,'” the research indicated.
The study interviewed both members of the couple in separate settings, which allowed both to be open and express the degree to which they are subject to, and perpetrated, abuse in the relationship. Researchers separated the study into five sections: “physical and sexual,” including hitting partner and rape, “emotional,” such as criticizing choices and behavior, “controlling,” as in preventing seeing family or friends, “monitoring,” reading emails and text messages, and “HIV-related” lying about HIV status and intentional transmission of HIV. The couples were recruited to be “serodiscordant,” meaning that one partner is infected by HIV and the other one is not.
45.6% of couples reported some form of abuse with their partners. 33.6% reported emotional violence, one in five reported monitoring violence, 9.7% experienced physical violence and 6.8% reported controlling behavior.
Rob Stephenson the lead author and a professor of nursing and director of the Center of Sexuality and Health Disparity hopes the studies finding can help facilitate changes in doctors and how they perceive domestic abuse.
The lead author of the study, University of Michigan professor of nursing and director of the Center for Sexuality and Health Disparity Rob Stephenson, hopes that the findings will change doctors’ perception of domestic abuse. “If you just looked at physical and sexual violence in male couples, it’s about 25 to 30 percent, roughly the same as women.”
The research sampling is limited, it is consistent with previous studies on domestic violence between same-sex couples. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in 2013 found that the rates of abuse in same-sex relationships were similar to those in heterosexual couples. In a study conducted by the Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine in Chicago, just one year later found higher rates of domestic violence in same-sex couples compared to opposite-sex ones.
“There are external stressors, like discrimination and violence against gays, and there are internal stressors, such as internalized negative attitudes about homosexuality,” Richard Carroll, a psychologist and co-author of the Northwestern research.
Photo: Blake Mitchell Instagram
Apparently when you’re an adult film star it pretty hard to date. According to Blake Mitchell of Helix Studios explained in a video why it feels lonely. He says that for any boyfriends it can be hard in public when people come up and say some inappropriate things: “People are gonna come up to me if we’re out together at a club possibly and make a compliment that if they made it to anybody else society would find it unacceptable,” he says.
He also admits that the travel and filing is something else that can be hard to handle, “to me, that’s my job…but I recognize from experience…what it feels like is being in a one-way open relationship and of course that’s not fair…it becomes a very difficult thing….” He also added that “There are people that think they can deal with it and then the months go by.”
Furthermore, he goes on to say: “I’m missing a piece of life that I could be having right now…and that’s a strangely painful thing to deal with to realize that I’ve picked this job over my personal life…it makes me sad sometimes but mostly it just contributes to that loneliness…the odds are stacked against me to find somebody who’s going to deal with my job, actually accept it, much less support and encourage me…”
Would you ever date an adult film star?
It appears that straight men watch gay porn at least a quarter of the time; at least to a new study. Adult film site YouPorn conducted a self-identified survey asking people how often they view same-sex porn. They discovered that 24 percent of straight men have had sex with other men and 36 percent of straight women.
The only question would be how honest the individuals are about their sexuality and sexual activity.