Last week Suitsupply released their new Spring and Summer clothing line. Pieces include light jackets like the bomber and checked jackets, softer lien cotton blends on a lot of their suits. But what really has people surprised and even shocked is the ad campaign for the new line.

​Fodde de Jong the Amsterdam-born designer decided to celebrate gay love with a new marketing campaign called "Find Your Perfect Fit", which shows men in different intimate poses.

At the time of the release of the campaign, Jong stated: ​“The attraction between people is an important part of fashion advertising. A campaign featuring the attraction between men was long overdue and particularly relevant for our brand.”

There's just one small problem, not everyone sees the ad as something to celebrate and a lot of people are just upset (mad). Jong did understand that when the campaign went live there would be a possible drop in sales and social media followers and said that he still plans to put up the campaign pictures in most of their 100 stores.

It appears he was right, in fact, Suitsupply has lost thousands of followers on social media, and their Instagram page has lost 12,000 followers and counting. Their Facebook page is receiving both positive and negative comments, such as; “I was buying your suits for a local pastor I know. Not sure that I can continue to do that,” and  “Especially if you have this hanging up in your store. Congratulations on your beliefs but are you selling homosexuality or clothing?” While others commented “Great advertisement, let's see how many people feel offended by this. You don’t want them as your customers anyway.”

Regardless of your feeling about their decision to peruse this campaign, you have to respect the designer convictions and let me just say this, the ad is HOT! I'll buy a suit.

The U.K. based LGBT magazine was slammed on social media after a tweet that was meant as a joke back-fired. The post done in poor taste made reference to the Parkland school shooting. They tweeted a picture of the front cover of the magazine, with the words "Just to be clear @realDonaldTrump - these are the only guns you should see in a classroom..."

"Wow Attitude. Way to exploit a major tragedy and the current gun control debate to see your rag and keep your advertiser happy. Get in the bin." one person wrote. Journalist Keith Andrew tweeted "Jesus Christ, this is terrible." Attitude's response was to block his account, he stated “This has genuinely depressed me. @AttitudeMag was the first gay magazine I ever bought.”

Attitude spokesperson Darren Styles said they were “sorry for the post in question:” Editor Cliff Joannou said “It was posted by a member of staff and has since been deleted by a senior member of the digital team. It’s certainly not reflective of wider editorial policy,” 

The initial tweet has been removed (deleted) and users have been unblocked. I suppose if you have an opinion that Attitude magazine doesn't like they'll just block you, instead of facing the criticism they received to a tweet done in poor taste. They were kind enough to unblock you.

If you remember 'The Mummy" and "George of the Jungle, then you might remember Brendan Fraser. The actor seemed to just disappear, well now he is opening up about why he left.

In a bombshell interview with GQ, the actor states that the main reason his career went south is because of an alleged sexual assault involving Philip Berk, the former president of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, the same organization that host the Golden Globes.

The incident supposedly happened in 2003 at an industry luncheon. Fraser can recall the incident with clarity. ​“His left-hand reaches around grabs my ass cheek, and one of his fingers touches me in the taint. And he starts moving it around,” he says. “I felt ill. I felt like a little kid. I felt like there was a ball in my throat. I thought I was going to cry.” It appears that Berk later apologized, however, the actor was so upset regarding the incident that he decided to retreat from the spotlight. “It made me feel reclusive,” he also stated that “I became depressed. I was blaming myself and I was miserable–because I was saying, ‘This is nothing; this guy reached around and he copped a feel.’

It was the #MeToo and Time's up movements that gave him the insight and courage to speak out about his experience. “I watched this wonderful [Time’s Up] movement, these people with the courage to say what I didn’t have the courage to say,” he says. “Am I still frightened? Absolutely. Do I feel like I need to say something? Absolutely. Have I wanted to many, many times? Absolutely. Have I stopped myself? Absolutely.” “And maybe I am over-reacting in terms of what the instance was. I just know what my truth is.”

​Of course, Berk denies the allegations, stating that “Mr. Fraser’s version is a total fabrication. My apology admitted no wrongdoing, the usual ‘If I’ve done anything that upset Mr. Fraser, it was it was not intended and I apologize.’” In a statement to Us Weekly, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association stated: 

Rickey Martin wants to have an open conversation about open relationships, especially with gay men. He is currently playing Antonio D'Amico the longtime lover of Gianni Versace on he Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story. The two were in a 15 year committed relationship, however, they were open and did sleep with other people. Martin wants the series to dispel the stereotypes about non-monogamous relationships. 

​Martin told Vulture ​“I want to normalize relationships like this,” and  “It’s good for the world; it’s good for me as a gay man with kids. It’s important that we shed some light on power couples like this.”

What he found most challenging as an actor was in the first episode, when the FBI began it's interrogating D'Amico about his relationship with Varsace. “It was a very excruciating scene for me. I mean, this guy was opening every door that was a secret from Gianni’s and Antonio’s relationship. I’m talking about bringing men into our lives. I’m talking about bringing escorts. That exposure is very heavy,” Martin said. “[But] the story, once again, needs to be told, for people to see the level of unity between these two. The level of commitment after 15 years. The level of security… and trust between them is so solid.”

Gus Kenworthy an Olympic skier was seen wearing a 'Make America Gay Again' hat while in  PyeongChang for the Winter Olympics. The out skier has been vocal about his support for LGBT rights - while at the same time speaking out against the head of the US Olympic Delegation, Vice President Mike Pence.

Kenworthy has vowed to skip the White House reception for the athletes, stating ​“When we have people elected into office that believe in conversion therapy and are trying to strip trans rights in the military and do these things that are directly attacking the LGBT community, I have no patience.” So the skier decided to take direct aim at the current administration by wearing a 'Make America Gay Again' hat. He wore the hat while making a video to support the Human Rights Campaign, an LGBT non-profit. “I am a huge supporter of the Human Rights Campaign because they’re a huge supporter of me. “It’s been an incredible Olympics – we’ve seen so much change, so much progress, and so much visibility for the LGBT community, and that’s been incredible. “I don’t think we would be anywhere near where we are without all the hard work the Human Rights Campaign has done. You guys have changed lives, you have saved lives, and I cannot thank you enough.” He stated.

​Something to think about: it appears that more people cheat in their relationship than we thought. According to a new survey, statistic found that 52% of gay men in monogamous relationships have cheated on their partners (boyfriends), and 45% confess that their partners never found out.
 
The study was conducted with nearly 1000 gay and/or bisexuals and conducted by FS magazine.
 
52% of the cheaters, 17% they had contracted an STI while fooling around, and 61% never told their partners, OUCH!  The number of gay men who have been cheated on is even higher, 58% say a partner had been unfaithful.
 
Of the 52% of cheaters, 17% said they had picked up an STI while sneaking around–and 61% say they never told their partners about it.
 
These high numbers aren’t just limited to monogamous relationships. 40% in open relationships responded that their partners had violated or broken the rules set by the couple.
 
“17% of the gay men who admitted to cheating on their partner got an STI or HIV,” he says. “We recommend that all sexually active gay men, whether in a relationship or not, get tested for HIV and STI at least twice a year.” According to Ian Howley, Chief Executive of the Health Equality and Rights Organization.
 
So, if we’re going, to be honest, we must acknowledge that monogamy isn’t for everyone. All relationships must have direct and effective communication; you can’t be afraid to talk to your partner and always being honest with yourself.

What I Mean When I Say Toxic Non-Monogamy Culture.This piece is in response to a short list of aspects of monogamous relationships that can be toxic (link is dead, I will try to find it again).  Some of these are mirrors of the points in the list of toxic monogamy cultural norms, and some of them are very different. All of this is in my opinion, and probably has a philosophically anarchistic slant to them. They are accompanied by commentary on why the idea in question is toxic. Enjoy.


​What I Mean When I Say Toxic Non-Monogamy Culture
​

~Jealousy is an indicator of the wrong-doing of the partner of the person feeling jealous.
Jealousy is a word often used in non-monogamous discourse as a weapon. It is accusatory, as well as it is shamed. I think jealousy can be a catch-all term for bad feelings we have related to the other relationships close people to us are in, and starts within ourselves as a marker for things we need to think about regarding our personal development and that of our relationship integrity.


~A sufficiently intense love is enough to overcome any practical disagreements over needs, insecurities or other relationships
This is a fallacy. Sometimes, people are incompatible and that just becomes more and more likely the more people are added to the equation. Unless everyone has their shit together, it’s not going to function in a way that supports everyone involved, let alone manage to squeak by without anyone getting really steamrolled.


~Relationships are for getting your needs met, so if you aren’t getting a need met in one relationship, another with whomever will do
People are not need-fulfillment pegs to shove into the holes in your heart, y’all. Trying to find people with your specific “need” (let’s face it, we’re talking about wants) in mind first is not paying homage to the dynamism of human beings.


~Love is limitless, which means that you can have as many relationships as you want
Time is limited, and so is energy. While it is prudent, always, to consider whether the amount of time you have to offer someone lines up with the amount that they would like to have with you, it is also advisable to take a look at the assumption that time spent in each other’s physical company is the be-all-end-all demonstration of care.


~Commitment assumes exclusivity of aspects of relationships
Commitment is in the agreements, not the exclusivity. It is also a bit of a fallacy, as people’s minds can change about what they want to be doing, and then weigh the value of the relationship agreement against the desired change at any time, and it serves us to foster safe renegotiation in order to promote autonomy in our relationships.


~Marriage and children limit how non-monogamous someone is, or what they have available to other people
While children become a top priority in the lives of parents, this does not negate or cancel out the importance of their relationships to them, and how they engage with the people they care about. It can mean some finagling of schedules, but that can be easily managed when everyone is understanding and accepting of children’s needs being of high importance.


~Your insecurities are your partner’s responsibility to tip-toe around and never your responsibility to work on
This is precisely in conflict with why lots of people choose non-monogamy for their lives: the challenge, the growth, and the stretching capacity of their hearts and minds. Without a careful examination of self-motives and self-governance, non-monogamous relationships will crash and burn more often than not. Ignorance of self-work is a disservice to yourself, and to the people you care about. Asking for help with self-work is great, but it is still ultimately your responsibility.


~Your value to a partner is directly proportional to the amount of time and energy they spend on you, and it is in zero-sum competition with everything else they value in life
As previously mentioned, it is also advisable to take a look at the assumption that time spent in each other’s physical company is the be-all-end-all demonstration of care. This is simply not always true, and can be a showstopper if an inherent need for time, or lack thereof, is mismatched. There are lots of different ways to show care, but they need to be negotiated and desirable for all parties involved.


~Being of value to a partner should always make up a large chunk of how you value yourself
This one has been a trip-wire for me for years, and I am happy to say that I may finally be getting out of some very self-destructive habits around how much my friends and partners experience of me shapes my reality about who I am. While constructively critical feedback from loved ones is a help to anyone’s personal growth, boundaries around how another person defines your behavior, and how your inherent character can be separate from their perceptions of your behavior, is so important for self-sustainability.

Original post: Chelsey Does Love. 04/14/2017

THE SENIOR CORNER - JIM MEADOWS 2/15/2018
​For this month’s Senior Corner, I’d like to share some information about HIV and Aging.  According to the Centers for Disease Control, people aged 50 and older account for about 45% of Americans who have been diagnosed with HIV. Almost half (49%) of new HIV diagnoses are among men who have sex with men (MSM). 38% of new HIV infections are contracted by heterosexual sex, and the rest are contracted by individuals who share needles for intravenous drug use.
 
One of the most troubling facts about HIV and aging is that older people are more likely to be diagnosed later in the course of their illness. For newly-diagnosed Americans aged 55 and older, 40% have late stage infection (AIDS) by the time they are diagnosed. It may be that some providers are assuming that older people are somehow at a decreased risk for HIV infection, but this is clearly a mistake. All at-risk adults (MSM, transgender women, IV drug users, and those who may have had unprotected sex) should be screened for HIV regularly. They should also talk to their healthcare provider about pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP).

PrEP consists of regularly taking the fixed-dose combination of two antiretroviral medications, tenofovir and emtricitabine (sold under the brand name, Truvada). When taken as directed, PReP is over 90% effective at avoiding HIV infection. Post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) is an emergency treatment for people who believe they may have been exposed to HIV. It is important that PEP treatment be started within 72 hours of exposure. If you believe you have been exposed to HIV, and you have not been taking PrEP, go to your nearest emergency room. If you are interested in starting PrEP to avoid HIV, click here to find your nearest PrEP clinic.

​What about older adults who have been living with HIV for a while? The good news is that people who receive highly active antiretroviral therapy (HAART) are living much longer and fuller lives than in the early days of the epidemic. Many people are now in their third or even fourth decade of living with HIV. But they are also beginning to get the typical diseases associated with aging, like diabetes, heart disease, cancer, hypertension, and hyperlipidemia. They are also being affected by these conditions at higher rates and at younger ages than usual.
 
It is especially important for people who are aging with HIV to prioritize self-care. That includes following their healthcare provider’s advice on the treatment and management of their HIV and other illnesses, getting adequate exercise, eating healthfully, and avoiding alcohol, drugs, and tobacco. It’s also very important to stay connected to social supports and avoid isolation. For more on that, please check out my article from last month.  

Hurley Haywood for the first time is opening up publicly about his sexuality in his soon to be released autobiography, Hurley! From The Beginning.

The five-time Daytona champion has endured gay rumors for years, however, he has managed to keep his personal life private. Until now.  It was an interview with a high school report a few years back that gave Haywood the understanding that he has the power to change lives. The reporter began asking him about his racing career, but things became more personal when the reported opened up about being bullied his entire life because he is gay and admitted that he was contemplating suicide. 

In an interview with Autoweek, Haywood stated, ​“I said, ’Listen, it’s not what you are, it’s who you are. That’s what people remember.’” More than a year and a half later Haywood would receive a call from the teen's mother thanking him for his support and say that his support saved her son's life. ” Haywood said. “And I thought, if my voice is strong enough to help one kid, it might help two kids, or five or a hundred.” - it was very emotional Haywood stated.

Haywood  is now coming out publicly, he knew his sexuality was never really a secret on the pro racing circuit, and there was never a negative impact to his career on the pro racing circuit. “The racing community has been extremely supportive,” he writes. “I’ve never not gotten a ride because I was gay.”

His book will be released March 10th and a documentary is scheduled to premiere in June.