In the beginning of a new potential romance, both individuals make an attempt to always put their best foot forward. It’s always with the purpose of dazzling you dinner date, usually focusing on dreams of a family, or how witty you can be, or just your excellent taste in music. This would be so perfect if it existed outside of a vacuum, but in today’s drunken status updates, unwanted photo tags, and checking in at the trashy bar that claim you do not go to, your best just might mean you are covered in social media shit.
Let’s be honest if you didn’t Facebook-stalk the many you made Friday night plans with, you are certain to do so after the date. Looking at the recent update that are posted, the photo’s he takes, who he likes. All of these things combined have become just as important as the words that come out of his mouth on a date. For example you might pull up an app on you cellphone to illustrate the story you’re telling, or a visual of your best friend who is just too fabulous for words to describe. It seems like social media is just another way to get to know someone, but in reality, most social media applications portray a distorted, disjointed and imaginary version of the people we are.
There are social media offenses that can lead your senses astray when evaluating a potential mate. It could be that your date has perfected the art of portraying himself as a lover of travel or has even pictures of him carrying the cutest kids you’ve ever seen. It has become easy to fall in love with a “catalog husband” that seen on your computer screen. The main problem with falling in love with someone’s two-dimensional social media profile is that you never really know what lies beyond that perfect picture or pictures. I mean after all, his photos might just be the most exciting thing about him, and maybe that’s why he travels by himself?
Then there is that archaic method of meeting someone face-to-face and getting to know them. Let’s say he makes you laugh and is charming, and leaves you wanting to know more about him. In most cases if you have trolled him on social media, you do right after the date, and in most cases you don’t find him very photogenic. Then all of a sudden you begin to question the connection you had with him because you have having trouble picturing you wedding photo. Or his status updated leave a little to be desired. All of a sudden that wit and charm go flying right out the window. And why? Because you’re in most cases vain and shallow, oh and then you not so sure if you’re going to accept another dinner date.
This is just small example of numerous ways that social media can undermine a would-be relationship, then of course online profiles, new “friends” and unwanted notifications can lead to unnecessary problems on a relationship begins. Gay men are famous for wanted to look through each other phone to find something that would lead to a problem or break-up. Heaven forbid should you have an old picture of a flame on your social media site. Like most insecure gay men, you start with feelings of jealousy, all because of some old stale image(s) from long ago.
Content and character of a possible love needs to be revealed in layers. It takes trust, honesty, effort to develop a meaningful relationship, and yes it’s possible to reach a level of depth with a person by meticulously parsing his Facebook self.
You have to understand that a person’s life will never give you an accurate representation of reality. We create an image that we want to convey on social media; it’s much easier to convey the “reality” that we want to portray on the internet than to live it in real life. My own Facebook profile portrays a person, which in real life is more complex. How easy would it be to choose a boyfriend or future husband based on the information from his social media profile, however, the truth of the matter is the longevity of a relationship resulting from such matchmaking techniques would be about equal to you iPhone’s battery life.
Of course social media can provide supplemental reading why studying a person’s qualifications as a potential plus-one, but you are in my opinion wasting your time if you use things like Facebook and Instagram to learn about the content required to answer all the right questions.
So, just close you social media, take the time to learn about a person, engage with them about what they like and dislike, what they are looking for in life and a partner. Don’t be quick to judge a person based solely on their social media profiles. When it comes to dating and mating, maybe it would help to unplug form the internet and really connect.
Image: istockphoto.com. Purchased for commercial use.